Wednesday, December 24, 2014

The Case of the Fallen Christmas Tree

My husband, Michael wrote this poem about an incident that happened a few years ago. A little background information for those who don't already know...He is a professional pet groomer by profession...Abby was our sweet Westie dog...and Figgy was our cat. Read to the end. It will surely make you smile.

The Case of the Fallen Christmas Tree

T'was the night before Christmas
From work I did come
I was ready for dinner
And some Christmas fun

The dogs were all groomed
They were clean, they were pretty
Which was good because when they first got there
They all smelled pretty sh...y

The day was done
It was good to be home
Let Christmas begin
I'll wrap Abby's bone

I entered the living room, lively and quick
To plug in the lights for old Saint Nick
When what to my wondering eyes did appear
My Christmas tree had fallen and I lost all my cheer

The tree lay flat on the living room rug
It looked pretty ugly, like a Chinese Pug
The lights were tangled, and they were unplugged
Ornaments were scattered all over the rug

I scratched my head as I surveyed the scene
How could it have fallen, the pretty Christmas tree
Abby stood loyally by Uncle Mike's side
She knew what had happened, but a snitch she could not abide

She would keep this secret and she wouldn't tell
Even if it meant she would burn in ...(the really hot place)

Sandra came home and slowly began
To redecorate the tree like only she can
She re-hung the lights and re-strung the garland
She did a great job. She's such a darlin'.

When picking up ornaments, a bird she did find
A beautiful red bird, it was one of a kind.
But there was something different about this little bird
She handed it to me without saying a word

I looked at it closely, it was no longer smooth
I knew in an instant its head had been chewed
Its' beautiful red feathers had been torn and removed
As if a fat house cat had something to prove

The mystery solved, it all came together
Figgy had done it for love of a feather
She had climbed in the tree, her bird to pursue
A very bad thing for a fat cat to do

The tree had stood strong, of this I am sure
But fat Figgy's weight was too much to endure
So it had fallen, the pretty little tree
Knocking over the Playstation 3

Surrounded by chaos, old Figgy did sit
If they figure I did it, I'll be in deep s..t
So she lay on the couch as if nothing had happened
She just didn't care, she just lay there nappin'

Thus solves the case of the Fallen Down Tree
Have a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year to thee

Michael Falcone   Dec. 2008
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